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Turtles Behind the Shower Curtain

by Callum Ruly Branch

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lyrics

My therapist asked me what I fear the most,
Said I; "well, more than automatic toilets or ghosts
Planes, abandoned swimming pools, or girls that like flirting
I fear there may be turtles behind the shower curtain."

No matter where I sleep, hotels, my bed, beneath the skies
I constantly have dreams where I am led to my demise
But unlike Baldr, my omens of death are quite uncertain
My murderer isn't my brother, it's turtles behind the shower curtain

Ah

Said my therapist to I
"This is a case of OCD
There are no turtles in your bathroom,
I mean what food would they even eat
This must be a case of trauma, set by the nursery tiny Tim."

At the mention of that, I recoiled because I remembered him

Ah

We worked through all my trauma, and she put me on meds
But when I got back home, I was greeted by the feds
They said, 'Look inside your shower. Do it, foolish man."
Something seemed off, but I listened.
It was all part of their master plan.
I slowly peeled open the shower, screamed, and started blurting
"Holy fuck, god help me, there are turtles behind the shower curtain!"

Ah

I never escaped that day
Stabbed to death and turned a ghost
Never trust a therapist who asks you what you fear the most

I had a little turtle. I named him Tiny Tim
I put him in the bathtub to see if he could swim
He drank up all the water and ate up all the soap
I took him to the doctor with a bubble in his throat

credits

released October 31, 2023
Guitar > Callum Wilsie
Vocals > Callum WIlsie
Produced by > Star W.
Effects > Soundtrap
Inspo of the chant at the end > Amanda Palmer/Dresden Dolls' Good Day

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about

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Callum Ruly Branch California

callum
high school aged queer musician
i like post punk
some of my influences are the happy fits, penelope scott, tally hall, will wood, violent femmes, xtc and the beatles

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